What Drives Us to Action:Temptation, Dreams, and Selfishness

Berlin, did you know I loved Nutella? I actually didn't see that there was hazelnut spread around my first time at the food area. I actually just got a little bit of scrambled egg (much better than the British version as it wasn't a gooey slop), a sausage, a piece of bacon, and some fruit yogurt, which turned out to be cherry, topped with some mix of granola. Absolutely wonderful. The hazelnut spread was actually brought to the table with a roll by Karissa. I just ended up with one of the packets and half the roll. So good.

Last night turned into a nightmare as I tried to get my converter to work so I could charge my laptop. I just couldn't get it to line up so that there would be power. Most of the time I would just get a split second of a charge. Currently Will's camera bag and three of my books are being used to prop the charger up in a position that allows it to charge. Last night it worked for about six minutes and then stopped. We gave up at this point. Being informed that Will travels like crazy over beds we shoved his towards the opposite wall, as he said he would literally move onto my bed and shove me off in his sleep, despite the hand width crack in between. Apparently I also talk in my sleep. I had a crazy dream last night, possibly the reason I was talking. It was all about this guy who was trying to take some Euros from this wood trough thing that held all these different currencies, which turned out to be only monopoly money (but the would be thief didn't know that). He I sense he wanted to take someone's Subaru and break into the house of the car owner as well. I wouldn't let him take the money, despite him taking out his police badge and demanding that I let him. I stopped him every time he tried to brush by me. I took pictures of him, which made him frown (hinting that he didn't want it taken), so I threatened to call the police but he didn't budge, as he didn't want to blow his cover. So did call. I ended up waking up before he was taken away. This all happened to be in a beautiful winter setting in Montana with the mountains in the background and I associated the day with Christmas.

Psychoanalysis of dreams - Kameron, where are you when I need you? Oh yeah the US...well then I guess I will just have to relate it all to ethics, morals, and some philosophers. In the dream I didn't know who's car it was, who's money, or the house. All I knew was that this person was going to take something that wasn't his. What was driving me? Duty to people. The quality of life these people had was going to be taken and I had the chance to stop it. Green Dot training 201 clearly had an impact. I have a duty to act because I am capable of acting. No crime, rape, or unjust action should be allowed just because of the bystander effect - where everyone stands around waiting for someone to act and in the end no one acts because they expect that someone else will. The more people, the more likely it is to happen - kind of like no one speaking in classes when they get bigger as everyone thinks someone else will. Defiant of that silence that bugs me I always speak if it goes too long, have the opportunity to stop something that shouldn't be happening and I try to act. Its also a lot easier in a dream, but I remember being afraid that the guy was going to shoot me, especially if I called the police. I called anyway. All I know is that if I don't act when I can, harm tends to come from the inaction.

That is what motivates me to action when people don't think I should act. The fact that what must be done must be done.

I after breakfast I reread my readings for a bit and then dozed off when our class was canceled for the day. Wondering what everyone else was doing we dressed to leave and discovered everyone was going a laundry run. I only had socks that needed attention, so I packed them up with a book to read and set off with the group. We had a vague idea where to go and ended up there quickly with directions. Thinking back, I don't really remember how we came back. It was quite the experience, being shown how to buy soap and the like. Set to wash, I left the store with Justin and the Carpenter sisters. Justin had to go to the bathroom so he stopped in a restaurant, which just happened to be next to a music store - with cellos! I went in and decided I would play one. The one that I liked the coloring of had an oddly low A string that was ridiculously close to the finger board. I settled for one about a 1000 Euros cheaper. They were all out of tune. I haven't tuned a cello in so long! Especially from no solid base! Thankfully an electric keyboard was right there and with Justin hitting keys for me every now and then I spent a good ten minutes getting it in tune. I then ask the woman for a bow and then rosin. I fine-tuned it and then I kind of played a little from something I had memorized. I didn't want to dig into the strings that much. Putting the cello back on the stand I went looking for music. I found one of the sazuki books, number three. I played for a little bit and then we had to go. It was a neat experience, getting to play a cello in Berlin. Never would've expected that!

Some people had seen a little joint to grab food at. It was almost an outside food cart, except it was attached to a building and had a small inside area where you could eat. Everyone, except for Justin, had the Currywurst with fries. The guy basically took the sausage and threw it in to fry with the fries. Then it was covered with this sauce that was something like barbecue and then put some curry on top. I loved the flavors, but I wasn't a fan of the sausage that much. I will probably give the sausage another go sometime this trip though. We also went to the bank and started our journey to find food for Justin, which quickly turned into visiting the market right next to our hotel. I bought some yogurt with raspberry something. The container had the fruit and the yogurt divided up so I had to mix them. I also got a roll, which just had a little melted cheese on it (Kase-schlemmer). So good. Maybe the currywurst wasn't filling enough. The last thing I got was some chocolate - Kuhflecken, which means cow spots. It looks like it is milk chocolate with white chocolate randomly spread out in it. The white chocolate turned out to be more decoration placed on top rather than going through the entire bar. I am only not realizing how far some companies reach into the world market. The chocolate was actually made by Kraft, under the name of Milka. (Branding is pretty crazy when you think about it) Axe deodorant goes by Lynx in the UK and you can't go somewhere without seeing Heinz ketchup.

When it came to dinner though, I felt bad. Michael wanted to go to a hockey game at 8. Number of people interested in hockey in our group, one. Thankfully Greg let him go as he wanted to go so badly but I felt bad that no one wanted to go. I have not so found memories of the only hockey game I went to - too loud, crazy, and plain old violent for me, but I was also a lot younger then too...I don't even remember where we were. My dad took me but we ended up leaving early because I disliked it so much. The problem was that no one wanted to really eat early. Kyle K and Meg joined him. Why didn't I? I can't deny I was selfish. Same for the game, I could've gone and it would've been an interesting experience, but I didn't really want to break off from the group and I wanted to get work done. Did I? No, not really. I ended up writing a few post cards - yes the entire time, I need to learn to write faster - and didn't really get much done besides a little typing. I feel like our group has been really great though about supporting each other in general, whether it means helping to feed the person who is starving, giving change over to make life easier, or going off with people do what they want to do, even if we don't want to completely. We help each other out because we want the same thing to happen for us when we really want to do something.

Dinner ended up at some bar/restaurant. I ordered something German that turned out to be a pork steak covered in this gravy mushroom mix with cheese on top and then broiled. I also had a side of mashed potato rolls. Some how they had kept the little things together and then fried them. Looked kind of like mozzarella sticks. Dipped in the gravy they were amazing. Kyle B said they were the type of food you would expect to order from Jack-in-the-Box at midnight. Dang, I would order them if they came to the states! We ended up at a sports bar that night. Largest beer mugs I had ever seen. Kind of reminded me of Snow-white and the Seven dwarfs, except with life sized people. I ended up ordering a piece of this Orange Cream Tore, which was soft, moist (sorry Braden), and light. The orange flavor was perfect too, strong but not over powering. I am not sure if this inspired the ordering of five more pieces of different tortes, but those got polished off so quick. Kyle actually offered me some of his beer tonight. I passed him up but almost didn't the second time. Kameron thought it was crazy that I was going abroad to Germany and wasn't going to drink anything. The torte distracted me though and I decided not to ask him if I could try it, even though the offer was there.

I left early with Greg so I could get some of my reading done. I ended up locked out of my room, which turned out to be great as I got to meet this girl named Gillian (with a G). She was part of the Maryland group. She invited me to hang out, but I passed hoping to get work done later. When she came back later though I took her up on the offer. Down at the bar I met some of her classmates and professor. I spent the next two hours with her and her friend John discussing everything: movies, actors, school, studying abroad, our trips so far, random people, Plutonic (yes, the girl had music by them), musicals, and what our plans were for the next day. Gillian was also going to go to the concentration camp too, so I wondered if we would see each other. She also invited me to two more events - her birthday on Tuesday and a dark restaurant, as in a completely dark restaurant where blind people serve you and you eat in the dark. That caught my interest! The problem was that I didn't want to break off from the group and if I did I would have to get someone to join. The cost, 34 Euro. It would be a really amazing experience but would easily blast four meals worth of money away.

I had a horrible night after that though and didn't get to sleep until after 3:45. I love friends who are there to talk though, even if they are lying in bed about to pass out from being so sick. Makes life so much easier. There I was being selfish again.